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How Polish Women Manage their Life outside Poland or How to Avoid the Taps



The life of a Polish immigrant girl or young woman doesn't seem to be easy - especially in the first few months after coming to a new country (such as the USA, Germany, or Great Britain). Many surprises await her there, and if she has no one close to her heart she can easily go astray.

After coming to a new country people are usually scared and don't really know how to behave and who to trust. It commonly happens that even the closest family or "friends" who came to the country earlier don't want to help the girl or the boy. They treat them either as "necessary nuisances" or "competition" which stands in their way and "destroys" their chance to make money.

In this initially difficult time girls decide on things which will impact their future life. They have only two paths to follow: either to start working hard and slowly earn their "fortune," or to take the easier path by finding the wrong crowd and/or finding a "sex sponsor." However, the theoretical simplicity of this path (especially if the girl is gifted with beauty) causes this path to be taken to be taken by more and more girls.

In the end, it leads to their certain downfall in the long run. In a new country and a new society, where there usually exists a language barrier lurk many people who want to gratify their interests at the expense of others. An immigrant girl from Poland is therefore very often a "victim" of twisted members of the opposite sex. Usually it begins in her age group, for example in school or in a disco. The girl, wanting to belong, must believe in the same things as the group, and behave in the same way as the other members. Young people very often from boredom or foolishness try to become "adults," and those who don't follow them are excluded. A girl who recently came from Poland or who doesn't have the will power to withstand the pressure from such a group she belongs to or wants to belong to very often treats this as a sort of "to be or not to be" question. In consequence she climbs down to the level of the lowest member of the group, which leads to not only her ruined life, but also of those around her. Prostitution, drugs, alcohol, those are just some of the negatives of such behavior.

Is there a way to protect girls from such a downfall in a country they emigrated to? Surely yes, but it requires will power and determination of not only the girl, but also of the people she is around. Firstly, a girl who begins a new life beyond Poland's borders should have assistance from people friendly to her. Such direct assistance is not always possible, so it's important not to forget about those left in the old country. Low telephone prices and the Internet allow for even daily contact. Conversations with family (mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister) should not be underestimated as even a single word can cause the girl to "remember herself."

Another way is to go to a good school ("good" is a school where real learning is of primary importance). In such a school the girl has a chance not only to meet worthy people, but also to learn good behavior and expand her thinking. Such schools usually are attended by people concentrated on their future vocational life, which means by people who have no practical time for inappropriate after-school life. And also it is from such school friendships that relationships spring up which are based on mutual trust, friendship, and love. Another unanswered question is whether a relationship is happier if a couple comes from the same country, or whether if it's a mixed couple. But this will be another topic I will address in my musings about girls and women from Poland living in other countries.