Should I Care if the Man I Love is Not Polish? How to Decide.

This is another one of those situations that appears much easier upon first reflection than it is when given deeper thought. At first, it is easy to be flexible in this regard, for many reasons. After all, you love this man! It is hard to say goodbye to love, especially new love, for what might appear to be an insignificant thing. It's also the case that we like to consider ourselves to be open-minded, not discriminatory when it comes to the kinds of people we have in our lives, and so we don't want to think of ourselves as discounting a new lover simply because he was born in a different country than we were.

But before you hasten into this new relationship with a non-Polish man, it's critical that you think things through and decide whether or not you are truly fine with it. The first thing you need to consider is the fact that this blissful, in-love feeling will temper in time. If you are lucky, it will calm down into a nice, long, slow-burning fire that will sustain itself down the years. What this means is that you will probably be spending more time around the kitchen table talking and less time in another room of the house. In these conversations, you will become increasingly aware that this man does not share a common perspective with you -- that is, he did not share your same experiences, and so he will not have the implicit understanding of many things that a Polish man would have.

This might be just fine with you! For some people, this makes things perpetually interesting and exciting. However, you won't get that automatic understanding, those knowing smiles, the in-jokes, that you would have with a man who has a common background. So, again, you need to decide if this will be right for you.

Another thing you need to search yourself about is whether or not you are truly being discriminatory if you decide you do indeed wish to share your life and love with a Polish man. Sometimes, this decision is indeed based upon thoughts and feelings that might not be so desirable, such as feeling that Polish people are superior to others, or that sort of thing. Most of the time, though, there is nothing bigoted about it! You simply want that shared experience with your life partner -- you don't think anything bad of anyone else, you just want to have important things in common with your husband.

Now, if you truly do decide that you want to be in love with a man who is Polish, and if you happen to be in love with one who is not Polish, then it's time to do some quick work. After all, you don't want to leave him hanging, lead him on. It's time to be honest and explain that while he is special, he is not the one for you. Then, just make sure that you do not give yourself the opportunity to repeat this situation -- only date Polish men, and you will be fine!